17 year old girl. After 13 years of classical ballet, I quit last spring and spent a year re-evaluating my life. Started Crossfit June 2011 and I cant get enough of it. I'm not looking to be skinnier, or have nicer abs or any of that. This isn't about looks for me, its about showing myself what I can do and making myself healthier, happier, stronger, and proud.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
Sept 28
Killer today! Worked on really hitting depth in my squat because apparently usapl is really strict about that. so I had to do 8x5 squat at 100# which was pretty tough by the end, but it helped me really feel what a deep squat should be. Then deadlift but I was feeling pretty shot from 40 squats. I was supposed to work up to a 3rm and got up to 155, got it off the floor on the first set but couldn’t lock it out. Coach said I definitely had it but I was just tired from the squatting so I finished it out with a 6rm at 150 which is still a PR so I’ll take it!
Now off to school to learn things:P
(Source: workisnotajob)
Negativity
I was told that I have to distance myself from anyone around me who is negative. Well the first negative person I need to get away from is myself. The negative person inside of me is more cruel, unforgiving, and damaging than anyone else I know. The goals I have set for myself are unachievable unless I change now. There is no chance to grow in my sport or in life if I keep pushing myself back down.
This acknowledgment that the biggest obstacle in front of me is my own negative self is not only difficult to accept but even more challenging to overcome. How do I stop behaving the same way I have for as long as I can remember? Habits form and we grow accustomed to our ways. Change isn’t easy. Even if you know it’s the best thing for you. I’ve known for years that I am way too hard on myself. But what steps have I taken to change it? There is an underlying fear that if I DO change and start feeding myself love and acceptance that I will discover everything I am capable of doing and becoming. There is the fear of the unknown. A fear of my unknown self.
I’ve been afraid many times before. Honestly, I seem to always be afraid of something. Doing the wrong thing, saying the wrong thing. Being vulnerable, not being good enough. Feeling judged, feeling lost, alone, and uncomfortable. I’m afraid of more things than I can list on one page and the biggest one of all is myself. I use the excuse of letting others down to weigh on me and preoccupy the real issue. The only person I continually disappoint is myself and I’m sick of it.
Now I wish I had the answer or solution to this, but I’m certain that for me there is not one remedy to get me where I want to be. For me, as stubborn as I am, it will be a fight everyday; a struggle that I plan on winning more often than not. And the days that I don’t distance myself from my negativity, I will record and analyze and learn from. I will find what it is that is stopping me and I will figure out a way to knock it down.
So if anyone out there actually eats carbs once and a while, I would highly recommend going out an buying yourself a package of Pamela’s gluten free baking mix. It’s the greatest stuff ever invented. Forget about all of those rules and directions on the back and just throw together 1cup or so of mix, 5 shredded apples, 1-2 eggs, and some water. Pop in a frying pan, top with banana and honey, and you have the single most amazing plate of pancakes you’ve ever experienced. Oh but don’t skimp out and spray the pan with cooking spray or something. Put some butter on that skillet please, it will be worth it I promise.
Sunday afternoons at my house ^^
Fuck yes.
lately.
So the past few days my workouts have been alittle sporadic but exciting nonethless. It’s been decided that I’ll compete in the USAPL Ohio state nationals in November, and I’m pretty psyched. I’ll be in the 132 weight class and I was looking over the records from last year to see where I stood and it actually looks kind of promising. There was only 1 competitor in the 132 weight class last year and I think her total was right around 480 with all of her lifts just a little bit more than where I am now. I havent actually started benching yet because my upper body strength isnt where it needs to be :/ so I dont know where I stand with that, it makes me a little bit nervous that I havent had any practice on it, but I’m hoping I’ll start soon..
My most recent squat PR was 115#, I’m hoping for a body weight squat by meet time, which I think is a pretty reasonable goal :)
Deadlift PR is about 150#. I’d love to have a 200# deadlift by the meet but I think that may be asking for too much. I’m not quite sure how quickly I’ll move up the weights, if I keep going up at the pace I have been then I think 200 is perfectly reasonable, but I have a feeling I’m going to start leveling off soon. Maybe 200 by the end of the year though.
Instead of benching, I’ve been working on presses once a week. As for those… well….I dont want to be negative about them but…I kind of hate them. I just find presses so frustrating. They are the single biggest pride crusher in the world. I have to admit, its definitely a little embarrassing when Im in there struggling to get my sets in with just a bar and two of the smallest weights available (2.5’s anyone?). I think coming from dance I still had some strength in my legs which made it easier to progress on the squat and deadlift, but my upper body strength is seriously lacking.
Chin-ups every other day though, and pushups, and rows, and other fun stuff should make for a slightly stronger me hopefully in the near future :)
less than 2 months until competition!
